THE LAST SUPPER or "JUDAS ASKS FOR FORGIVENESS"

Act I

Does this silence sound like anything to you?

I speak of the silence when you seek answers and hear nothing. Nothing. 

Now, if I were to stop talking. An empty, flat echo would be the only response.

I speak of when you suffer and you scream and you shout and you beg, and she responds with the same impassivity.

What if I had not done what I did? What if I had been a more obliging apostle and my lack of fidelity had not led to her death? If my actions had been removed from History, the Silence of the Faith would have been unbearable.

Her death became the most eternal of lights. A light brought forth be me.

You see me and everything you see is betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. It’s a word you hate.

And yet, without my betrayal, how much would your words be worth? (pointing to Jesus)

You think I’m a rat. And yet, I am you.

Act II

I am all of you. There is little difference between us. 

Even knowing about my betrayal, Jesus did not reject me. I stood by her side. I walked with her for three years, I witnessed impossible miracles, we preached together with the other disciples. I was the chosen one. And yet, human, I erred. That’s why you hate me.

But do you not see that if you hate me, you hate something within yourself? You see me in you. And you are not entirely wrong. Think about it: 

If I had not erred and if Jesus had not still wanted me by her side, 

what would legitimize you feeling so wrapped up in her, knowing that every day you fail in some way? 

Knowing that every day you step away from her? Knowing that every day you look the other way while you satisfy your lust, your greed or your gluttony?

This is the legacy I left after my death.

Think about it again, I beg you. And let this be the last:

She knew what was going to happen and she wanted me by her side. 

She taught you that there are different ways to love someone. And that closeness and distance are irrelevant when it comes to love.

That betrayal needs love to exist and love needs betrayal to justify its consequences.

I never loved Jesus as she would have liked. But I loved her. I loved her! 

That’s the only truth. The one truth nobody wants to know about. They make you believe in heaven and hell, light and shadow, flower and poison, black and white. But everything in life is tinted by a shade of gray, intangible and infinite. 

I need you to understand me. 

Sometimes I feel so alone. Was I the only one who truly understood her Word?

In truth I do not need you anymore. Your hatred can bring me no misery.

But there is something I need to tell you before I return to the darkness you created for me.

Listen to me carefully

Do not let these words turn to dust.

But I need to tell you that

Everything I did

The stealing, the lies, the betrayals, 

I did it so that you would love me.

So you would love me.

Do you not believe me? Do you still feel so different from me? Chosen by the Gods? 

Try to find a single act, a single action, a single word, that you do not do for this same purpose. You even ask the air to love you!

We live in hope that we are loved. And she does too! 

Do you think she wanted something different? Slow down. In the end we are not so different.

Let me end with her silence.

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